Wednesday, November 20, 2013

National Novel Writing Month

When I signed up to do this crazy thing called National Novel Writing Month I had no idea how truly crazy it was.  After all 50,000 words in a month is quite a bit.  I only have a short time left and i'm seriously doubting if  I will finish or not, especially if these stupid headaches, almost daily headaches don't stop.  If I finished it or not, I have learned quite a bit about writing and that my biggest obstacle is my obsessive need to constantly revise. 
I thought I would share with anyone out there listening the first chapter in my novel.  I welcome any and all feedback.


“All of my books have always been so pleasant,” Elsie shook her head and looked down at the handkerchief she was wringing in her chubby hands.

Despite the fact that Elsie is a well-known drama witch, I could tell something was truly upsetting her. We were standing outside of her French Quarter book store, “Elsie’s Enchanted Tomes”. I could feel myself melting in the midday sun as it beat down upon us. She had refused to go inside to show me what was going on. That’s how I knew something was wrong. Elsie loved her creature comforts and to be outside in July was not comfortable in the least. It had rained only hours before and the mugginess hung like a curtain draping itself around the city. My thin cotton shirt was plastered to my body and the air was so thick I could feel it as I sucked it into my lungs. Elsie had to me miserable stuffed into what appeared to be a girdle two sizes too small. Her hair which was always so perfect was clumping together around her face in damp lifeless strings, the makeup she so expertly and was melting off her face as we spoke.

Still strangling her handkerchief, she looked back up at me, fat tears dancing on her lashes. “You have to do something.”

Trying to comfort her, I placed hand on her shoulder and asked, “What exactly has the book done?”

“As I said, I occasionally have enchanted books show on my shelves, but they have all been pleasant. They have breeding and manners. That…that…that…thing in there is a rude, foul-mouthed…thing.” Fighting back a sob, she closed her eyes and brought her hand up to her mouth. Shaking her head she continued, “He has ruined my shop, knocking down shelves calling me vile names that I have never heard before and dare not repeat. He chased Mrs. Englebert around the shop humming the wicked witch of the west theme song until she ran out the door in tears. You know how she feels about her skin after that unfortunate spell backfiring a few years back. No matter what we have tried; that green hue will not go away. She’s very sensitive about it. I will not have him in my shop a moment longer insulting me and my customers. I don’t care what you have to do; get him out of my shop and away from me.”

I knew how terrible upset Mrs. Englebert had been. Every witch in the New Orleans Coven had tried to reverse the effects of that terrible spell.

She pressed her face up against the large picture window that made up the storefront of her bookstore and jabbed a sausage-like finger at the glass.

“He’s right there, in the bookshelf between the two that have fallen in the middle.” She turned to me, making sure I was looking. “You can’t miss the nasty foul mouthed thing. Last time I saw him he, was laying on a shelf blowing raspberries at me and telling me that I needed to lay off the beans.”

Biting my lip to keep from laughing, I pushed my face against the glass next to hers and peered between the antique gold lettering on the window.

Giving her a smile that I hoped was reassuring I said, “Don’t worry Elsie, I’ll get him out of your shop.” I had no idea how I was going to do this. I had never done a successful exorcism before. That was my sister’s specialty. I was good with the plants and herbs. When my sister told me to head over here I was thinking Elsie just needed help with a plant or perhaps a potion. Surely Sybil misunderstood Elsie on the phone.

Pushing open the door, I took a deep breath. What the hell are you doing, just turn around, and tell Elsie that Sybil would be better for this. Turning back around I see Elsie looking at me pleadingly as if all of her hope hung on my ability to take care of this.

“Crap,” I muttered under my breath as I walked in.


A frigid blast of air hit me as I crossed over the threshold.  The sweat that had caused my t-shirt to stick to my body felt as if it had turned to ice causing me to shiver.  Stepping over one of the fallen bookcases, I looked around.  The tiny shop was crammed full of shelves, all different heights, shapes and colors. Dust motes danced in the beam of sunlight steaming in through the window that hit the polished copper cash register causing it to glimmer in its rays. 

The floating chandelier was now hovering over my head.  Walking deeper into the shop stepping over fallen bookshelves, across squeaky floor boards and dusty surfaces, I inhaled the wonderful old smell of old books and leather.  I had always loved that smell.  It smelled of memories, old friends and comfort.

A creaking sound pulled me from my musings. I crept as quietly as I could toward the noise. Standing in front of the bookshelf, I squinted at the tomes trying to discover which one was the culprit.  A small movement attracted my eye to the center of the shelf.  I blinked and found myself staring eye to eye with a book.  It was a thick volume, lying on its side, the words on the cover written in a language I didn’t know.  Two frog- like eyes staring back at me were situated just above the opening of the book.

Clearing my throat I widened my stance and announced, “You are going to have to leave this shop and return to where ever it was you came from.”

The book liked at me for a moment then said, “No.”

Trying to act as if I was confident in my abilities I said, “If you don’t leave willingly, I will be forced to exorcise you.” 

The book opened and closed as it talked, pages flapping wildly, “You and what army, bitch?”

Placing my hands on my hips, I cocked my hip to the side and glared at the book, “Elsie was right, you are rude.”

“Elsie?”  The book roared “The fat cows name is Elsie? Oh that’s priceless”

“Fine, you leave me no choice.”

As I bent over to reach into my bag, the book lets out a wolf whistle and in a bad Barry White impression says, “Baby, we might just be able to work something out.”

I spun around and glared at him.  His eyes were locked onto the space where my ass was.  Dragging his eyes upward he wiggled his eyebrows at me. Elsie was right.  The book wasn’t only foul, it was perverted

                “What’s your name?”

“Oh no, no, no, you can’t get me with that trick.  Names have power. But you’re right; I don’t want to go through an exorcism.  I have an idea.”

The edge of the books mouth curled up giving the illusion it was smiling, it wasn’t a nice smile.

“Take me home with you.”

“What?  No absolutely not.”  Reaching back into my bag I start pulling out my exorcism gear.

“Oh Morgan, you and I both know that you have to wait until midnight to do that anyway.”

“How do you know my name?”

“Oh, I know a lot of things about you, Morgan.” Another smile spread across his pages. 

We stared at each other for a moment before he continued on.  “Since you can’t exorcise me until midnight anyway, take me home with you.  It will make the fat cow happy, make you look good, and I’m about ready to get out of here anyway.  She’s starting to be a drag and all of her customers stopped coming yesterday.  Oh, and I will tell you how I know who you are and all the other things I know about you.”

Looking back at the window I saw Elsie’s face pressed up against the glass looking hopeful. I didn’t want to disappoint her.  I wanted to be the one who took care of things for a change.  Someone besides a glorified gardener. Taking a deep breath and knowing that I’m going to probably regret this decision later I look at the book and said, “Okay, but first give me something.  Tell me something you know about me.”

A smug smile spread across its pages, “I know your father.”

“So, my father is a very prominent professor at a local university.”

“No, I know who your real father is.”

I felt my stomach drop.  My legitimacy had been whispered about ever since I grew a headful of hair that was as dark as the rest of my family’s was fair.  When I would cry into Adelaide’s, my nanny, shoulder about the nasty things I heard, she would always tell me not to listen to gossip.  That gossips where just mea, nasty people who had nothing better to do than to spread manure. 

Taking a deep breath, I swallowed back my tears and reached out to grab the book, “You’re not going to bite me are you?”

“That depends…do you want me to bite you?” 

I quickly grabbed the book, shoved him into my bag and headed toward the front door.  I could hear a faint mumbling sound coming from the bag, but I ignored it as I pushed open the door and walked back into the sweltering heat. 

Elsie looked at me with relief, “You got him didn’t you, please tell me he’s out of the book, out of my shop.”

“Well, he is out of your shop.”

“Elsie’s eyebrows knitted together, “What aren’t you saying?”

“He refused to leave the book, I can’t perform an exorcism until midnight and if I did, I can’t guarantee what he would do to your shop.  He is a very powerful spirit and I think he has just been playing with you right now.  If he wanted to I’m sure he could do a lot more damage than he has done so far.  So I talked him into coming with me.”  I opened my bag and Elsie peered inside.

Raspberry “Wow I told the cow she should lay off the…”  

Elsie cut him off, “Yes, yes, yes.  Take the book.  I don’t care I actually never remember seeing it before and…just please get that thing away from me.  My nerves can’t handle one more minute of him.”  She shooed me away from the door. “Give your mother my best dear.”

Before I could even blink, she was on the other side of the door and the door firmly shut behind her. 

 

Witchcraft, voodoo, hoodoo and vampires are all things that the people of New Orleans are open to.  There are stores here that you can purchase voodoo dolls, spell books, spells, get your fortune told and countless other witchy things.  They even have a vampire tour that have hundreds of people a day lining up to shell out their hard earned money to go. 

But, what would all of the citizens and tourist think of New Orleans if they knew the truth?  If they knew that witches and witchcraft was alive and well in their city.  Would they be as accepting then?  It’s a question the true witches of New Orleans have wondered countless times, but have never been sure enough to come out of the preverbal broom closet. 

Our community exists right next to yours.  We have our own stores, cafe’s and gathering places.  Yes, some witches will cater to both humans and witches, but for the majority of us we like to keep out businesses separated.   Walking down the street a mortal would never know where one of our hidden shops where.  Only those with the blood can see them.  We have many ways of disguising our hidden city.  Some like to make their shops appear vacant, others make them look dangerous and if a mortal tried to go in, they would suddenly get a bad feeling and leave.  My favorite method and the one my family’s shop uses is we make the entrance impossible to find. 

My family’s shop, The Copper Cauldron sells a mixture of things: herbs, athems, book of shadows, alters and cauldrons to name a few.  I had recently moved out of my parents’ house and was living in the small apartment above the store.

“Crap.” I said as I looked at my watch.  I am running late for dinner.  Even though I had moved out, mother still insisted that I come daily for dinner.  My mother did not like to be kept waiting, but I couldn’t take the book with me and after seeing what it did to Elsie’s shop I was not leaving it in my car. 

Reaching my car, I tossed my bag into the passenger seat and quickly followed it in. 

Turning up the air conditioning to full blast I dug the book out of my bag. I pointed my car in the direction of my apartment and asked,

“Ok, who’s my father?”

A smile spreads across his pages, “A demon, of course.”

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